Thoughts on motherhood.

So, let's be so for real.

Motherhood is one of those journeys that humbles you in the deepest way possible.

But it also strengthens you and, for most of us, it makes us the best versions of ourselves.

It’s beautiful and exhausting. Sanctifying, yet, stretching. I’m still very much learning, but when I look back over the past year and a half, there are a few things I’ve learned that I believe every mom, or soon-to-be  mom, can either pocket, relate to, or take to heart.

1. Being the first among my circle of friends to have a child was more interesting than I expected.

When I became a mother, many of my friends were still in different seasons—single, newly married, or focused on career/school/traveling/etc. The thing is, I didn’t realize how lonely it could feel to be the first in my circle to cross into motherhood. And I understood quickly that it wasn’t that my friends didn’t care, they simply didn’t know how to show up. They couldn’t relate yet. Many see the cute baby bump, the cute baby shower, and the cute baby, but there are a million little details during and especially after pregnancy that many don't see. The labor and the delivery of baby (or c-section), the bleeding, the late-night feedings, the mental and emotional load, the postpartum healing, navigating marriage, navigating family, embracing a new identity—these things and more are hard to grasp unless you’ve lived them. 

But here’s the beauty: so many did show up, even without fully understanding the journey. They asked questions, they prayed for me, dropped off meals, checked in, weren’t offended if I texted back four days later, and they reminded me that I was doing a great job.

And while, of course, there were a few people who either grew distant or just disappeared, I’m so thankful for the community that turned into our village. Our family. I know mom-culture says to ‘never forget those who didn’t show up or support you’, but I actually choose to put my energy in remembering those who did show up & were present. Even if it wasn't physically.

The journey has taught me to give grace—to my friends and to myself—because we are ALL learning how to love and show up in new seasons.

Still, this journey has shown me my village, and as my son gets older, I want him to know that as well. 

⸻

2. My identity cannot be rooted in motherhood alone.

When you first step into motherhood, it’s easy to feel like you disappear into the role. Your days quickly revolve around feeding schedules, appointments, nap times (yours and baby’s lol), and milestone tracking. I’ve often heard women say they feel like they’ve lost themselves in motherhood, and I completely understand why. But God has gently reminded me that before I was Ezra Augustus’ mom, I was—and will always be—His daughter. My worth isn’t measured by motherhood or how “perfect” of a mom I am, but by the love of the One who knit me together (Psalm 139:13–14).

Don’t get me wrong—I love being a mom, and I absolutely love and adore my son. Motherhood is a beautiful calling (Psalm 127:4-5), but it’s not the whole of my identity. The same goes for being a wife. If I’m not rooted in Christ first, I’ll end up placing expectations on my child or my husband that only God was meant to carry. And that’s a weight no human was ever designed to bear.

That’s why I’m so grateful to my husband. He gives me the space to not only be a mother, but to also be Miracle—to create, to learn, to travel, (to hang out with my girls!), and to keep growing into the woman God has called me to be.

⸻

3. Deeper in love with my husband.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen too many single moms in this world who are married — carrying the weight of parenthood alone while their husbands check out of the responsibility. And truthfully, it breaks my heart. Having a child with someone is more than just sharing DNA. It’s sharing the most exhausting, vulnerable, joy-filled, and high-pressure job of your life. It’s nurturing your seed and raising them to be an amazing person in this world. It’s sharing and creating legacy. And watching my husband step into fatherhood has made me fall in love with him in a deeper, unexplainable way. It’s not just the big moments, like the way he protects and provides for our family, but the small ones—rocking our son back to sleep at 3am, making us food when we’ve ALL had a long day, or simple affirmations. Parenthood has shown me sides of him I didn’t see before, and every day I’m more grateful that this is the man I procreated with. The man I get to do life with, love, and parent with. I can confidently say that my motherhood journey has been so beautiful having Owura as my husband and teammate. And I pray that every woman experiences that.

⸻

4. Words matter, mama.

"Life and death are in the power of the tongue..." Proverbs 18:21.

Yea, I don't play about that.

One of the most important lessons motherhood has taught me is that I am the spiritual door to my child. Words carry weight. Scripture reminds us that life and death are in the power of the tongue—and at such a innocent age, our children can't yet discern, rebuke, or reject the negative words spoken over them. Comments from strangers, well-meaning family, or careless voices can quietly plant seeds of fear, limitation, or just plain negativity if left unchecked. And me? I never leave it unchecked. And I understand that many may come with 'advice', but more often than not, it's simply a projection of their negative experiences:

"Oh, my son was terrible at that age, yours will be too. Just wait."

"You will never keep him still, boys are just crazy and wild!"

"Enjoy it now, it only gets worse."

Absolutely not. I do not agree with any of that over my child.

As a parent, but especially as a mother, it is my responsibility to stand guard at that door, to intercept what does not belong, and to speak life where others may speak negativity.

Even jokingly. Even the 'harmless' comments:

"Oh, your son is everywhere! He's such a busy-body!"

My response,

"Nope! He's not. He's a great business manager—he stays managing everyone's business!"

And I understand that to some, it may come off as 'extra' or maybe a little 'aggressive', especially if I have to verbally rebuke a comment with a straight face.

But until my child can use their own voice to push back against what is harmful (even when they can), I will use mine—to cover them, correct the narrative, and make sure that God's love, His truth, and blessings are what take root in their spirit and their lives. Period.

And that responsibility includes words and statements I say as well. No amount of frustration, anger, or worry should ever be the reason I speak carelessly or sideways regarding my child.

⸻

5. Dependence on God over self-sufficiency.

Motherhood quickly shows you how little to no control you actually have. You can watch the videos, make the meals, plan the schedules, read the books, and do “everything right,” but there are still moments where only God can give peace, wisdom, and/or strength. And as a Type A individual, that was a quick lesson. I have little control. It’s a constant reminder that we weren’t meant to parent out of our own power—we’re meant to lean on Him. And if I can be honest, that is sooooo freeing, knowing that I was never called to be a perfect mom, just a surrendered one.

⸻

6. Your life is not over.

“Your life is over once you have a baby.”

“You’re going to lose your identity.”

“You’ll never get to do anything again.”

“Having a child will slow you down.”

First of all—God forbid.

Secondly, I’ve heard it all—for nearly a decade. And for a long time, I wondered why motherhood was painted this way. Don’t get me wrong, I know the journey isn’t easy. Even women with all the resources in the world still find it challenging, so it makes sense why so many of us feel so stretched.

But let me be clear: your life is not over.

Yes, motherhood changes you. Your body, your mind, your capacity, your patience—it’s a beautiful yet sacrificial transformation. But it does not erase you. For anyone who’s been led by fear, hear me: motherhood is not the end—it’s really the beginning of a deeply fulfilling life. You can still pursue passions, get a degree, launch a business, travel, spend time with friends—how? Because I’ve lived it. And I don’t by any means “have it all,” yet, it was still possible.

Does it look different for everyone? Of course. Marriage, support systems, finances, health, and—most importantly—your mindset all play a role. But none of these mean your story ends with motherhood. Instead, motherhood expands you. It stretches you. And often, it introduces you to a purpose you didn’t even know was waiting for you.

⸻

If you’re a mom or an expectant mom, whether surrounded by a supportive village or walking this road more alone, know this: God sees you. He knows the invisible labor, the tears no one else witnesses, the sacrifices that go unnoticed. He calls you His beloved, and He is proud of you—not because you’re perfect, but because you’re His.

Motherhood will keep refining us. That’s the beauty of it. Every long night, every prayer whispered over our children, every moment of sacrifice is shaping us too. It’s the most rewarding role, not because it’s easy, but because it transforms us from the inside out.

It’s not just about raising children, it’s about becoming more like Jesus in the process. Learning patience when we’d rather be short. Choosing gentleness when we’re tired. Showing grace when mistakes are made. Loving unconditionally, even on the hard days. And showing up to serve every single day. Every. Single. Day. 

God is using motherhood to mold me just as much as He’s using me to nurture my son.. And that’s why, even in the refining, there’s so much beauty to be found.

With love,

Miracle <3